Just say yes

Over the years I have become a fan of the TV show “Say yes to the dress”. If you have yet to experience the delight let me enlighten you; there are bridal salons in New York and Atlanta, these are the 2 original salons to open their doors to the cameras to film brides choosing their dresses for the big day. We the audience share in their journey of trying on usually over-priced gowns while often over analysing their choices and crying buckets of tears.

Since the early days of Kleinfelds in New York other shows have cropped up in locations such as Las Vegas, Canada, Ireland and here in England hosted by Gok Wan and David Emmanuel.

The brides come in all shapes and sizes and from all different backgrounds with varying budgets and tastes. One of the most common denominators though is the entourage, a lot of the brides that feature on the shows, especially in New York, bring enormous groups with them to help them select the perfect dress. She usually wants them all to like the one she picks, not just have an opinion on how it looks on her, but actually love it as much as she does. These entourages can sometimes be as many as 20 people, how on earth can anyone expect that many people to all love the same dream dress. This evitability ends in tears and a lot of the time the bride will leave without selecting a dress, because she doesn’t seem to have the backbone to stand up to her friends and family and go with the dress she loved in the dressing room before showing it them.

Another common theme is the mother; often the mum will have a fixed idea of how she would like her daughter to look on the big day. A lot of the time on these shows they usually imagine their daughters in princess style ball gowns and often that is so far removed from what the bride has in mind. This makes for a very difficult situation because these brides are looking for their mother’s approval and set themselves the almost impossible task of keeping everyone happy.

The most tricky situation in my opinion is when the mother is paying for the dress and wants the bride to wear only a dress that she likes, regardless of whether her daughter actually likes it or looks good in it. This sometimes escalated into the mother refusing to pay for a dress because she does not like the style, even if her daughter looks beautiful in her choice.

Her choice… surely if she is able to choose her life partner, then she is quite capable and should be able to choose her own gown.

As a mother of 2 wonderful sons I am never going to experience this special time between mother and daughter. But if I did have a daughter and I was paying for her dress, I would want her to have a gown that makes her feel beautiful and fabulous, and most importantly her choice.

Ultimately surely your daughter’s happiness is the most important factor.



Happily ever after

Attack of the Turkish love rat

It’s my sad duty to announce the end of operation “Get Hasan to the UK”, my quest to help get my Turkish husband a visa to live in England with me.

I have too much dignity to write about the details but suffice to say I have been betrayed in the cruelest possible way. A month ago I discovered that for the last year my marriage has been a lie and the more I hear, I fear that the last five years have been a sham. The focus and aims of the last eighteen months have been destroyed.

At first I was devastated and heartbroken, but now I feel so angry at him, at her and at myself for being foolish enough to trust him for so long.

What shocks me the most is that I didn’t see it coming because I have been so blinded by love and working hard to help him get here.

The reason for this post? certainly not to slag off Turkish men, there must be some good ones somewhere.

I wanted to share what has happened as so many of my merry band of followers have supported me throughout this quest with lovely comments.

The name of my blog “Back to life” has taken on a new meaning now, originally it was a journey of recovery from illness to the land of working and living. Now I have another journey to make, to rebuild my life and move on.

I have fantastic support from my family and friends, they have been invaluable throughout this first month when the hurt was unbearable. I’m sure with their continued love and care I will get through this.

Happy Mother’s Day

Today it’s Mother’s Day and may I take this opportunity to wish all mothers a very happy day.

Mothering Sunday is always held on the fourth Sunday of lent, exactly 3 weeks from Easter. Traditionally people visited the church where they were baptised, their mother church. It was also a time when workers ‘in service’ would go home and visit their mothers.

Nowadays it is a day to honour our mums and shower them with cards, gifts, flowers and love.

Unfortunately I’m working all day so won’t see much of my lads or my mum.

On Friday night my brownie and rainbow units held a tea party for their mums, they made flowers, cards and tea for them to celebrate their special day. They did so well and were fantastic hostesses and their mums loved it.

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Love is all around

May I take this opportunity to wish everyone a very  happy Valentine’s day.

I hope that you all had a wonderful day with your loved one, or received a card from someone you hope will be your loved one someday.

Unfortunately I am still apart from my hubby, but I know that this period of our lives will be over soon and in the end it’ll all be worth it.

I thought I would share with you some facts about love that I stole from my daily newspaper:

– Analysis of people’s brain activity when looking at pictures of loved ones has shown that falling in love has much in common to drug addiction.

– Research published in 2012 claimed that falling in love takes only a fifth a of second.

– According to a recent market survey, 2% of people have fallen in love in a supermarket.

– When we fall in love, the brain releases more dopermine, adrenaline and norepinepherine. The first of those creates feelings of euphoria while the other two cause heart fluttering and restlessness.

– Slovenia is the only country with ‘love’ spelt out in it’s name.

This is my favourite:

– Love, n: a temporary insanity curable by marriage (from Ambrose Bierce, Devil’s dictionary).

I don’t know about temporary insanity but I am still crazy in love with my hubby, Hasan, and it definitely hasn’t been cured by marriage!

For you Hasan xxx

For you Hasan xxx




“love” facts from Daily Express 14.02.2013.

And the winner is…….

I have only been blogging since March and I am very chuffed to be nominated for a “Very inspiring blogger” award.

Thank you for much to Crazy Train to Tinky Town for nominating me, I am so grateful for the honour.

As I’m new this game I had to contact the author of the blog to find out what I needed to do to accept this nomination, she had been nominated quite a few times and has won a tidy number of awards even though she herself has only been blogging for a short time.

I need to name 7 bloggers who inspire me and name 7 interesting facts about myself. Naming the bloggers is easy but narrowing down just 7 interesting facts is proving to be a very difficult task… only kidding! I’m having trouble thinking of 7 so I thought I’d follow the example of my nominator and go down the “5 things” route.

So here goes:

Five fabulous moments in my life

The birth of my sons Scott and Jake.

The parachutes jumps I did as a venture scout.

My first kiss with Hasan.

Qualifying as a nurse.

Passing my ballet exams in my youth.

Five things I love

Being Hasan’s wife.

Being a mum.

Sex and the City.

Flowers especially freesias and daisies.

British seaside towns especially Weymouth.

Five things I hate

Clowns, dolls and puppets.

Violence and cruelty to all living things.




7 bloggers who inspire me

Perking the Pansies

Goss Coaching

Crazy train to tinky town

Little dumb man

Earth laughs in Flowers

Being Koy

Kirsten Lamb’s Blog

There are many fantastic blogs out there, but these are the 7 that I read regularly and get the most from. Perking the Pansies was the very first blog I started to read and will always be my favourite.

I hope that my blog will become as successful as the blogs I’ve named in this post and I thank everyone who takes the time to read it.








Being away from my hubby Hasan is very hard and I miss him terribly. We talk everyday on Facetime and on the phone, but it’ll never be the same as being together in the same place.

So when my next door neighbours daughter, Rhianne, went on holiday to Kusadasi I took the opportunity to send a present and a hand written card to Hasan, something for him to keep and read whenever he needs to. I think a hand written note is very special especially when the message is personal and written with love.

Hasan also used Rhianne to send a present back to me, he bought me a lovely bracelet and a new link for my Pandora bracelet. He didn’t send me a hand written note, but I know that he took his time to find me a gift that he knew I would love.

This time apart is so difficult, especially as the contract seems to be taking forever to arrange at the hospital, preventing me from progressing on the course as quickly as I would like. If I were busier with the course maybe I could cope better with not having Hasan with me. But until I’m working on the unit I can’t get stuck into my reflective assignment, because I need to reflect on something I experience during my nurse practice.

I have to keep reminding myself that I’m here away from Hasan to make a better life for us, so that he can have more opportunities than he does in Turkey.

I remind myself that everyday when I need a hug and a kiss from him and I miss him so much it hurts.

We knew it wouldn’t be easy, but we know our marriage is strong and we love each other very much.

So no matter how much harder it gets I just need to stay positive and carry on.